Psychologist and author Dr. Lisa Damour shares her advice on how to connect with your child and what healthy emotions look like:
How should an adult respond if their child seems sad or angry? Dr. Damour: “What a child needs from an adult are two things — curiosity (taking an interest in what they say) and empathy (letting them know you’re sorry for how they feel). The simple act of a child putting an unwanted feeling into words goes a long way in helping them feel better.
“Here is a simple exercise I use at home — I imagine my child is a reporter and I’m an editor whose job is to listen intently and then at the end of the “draft” come up with a headline. The headline should be an accurate summary of your child’s ideas that, in turn, shows your child you’ve listened to what they said and validated their feelings.”
How do you tell the difference between healthy teen angst and more serious signs of anxiety or depression?
“It’s normal for teens to feel emotions more intensely than younger children and adults do. What you want to see is how they manage these feelings. Help them find strategies that bring relief without harm to themselves or others. Suggest talking to friends or other adults, finding healthy distractions and/or solving the problem. If additional support is needed, help them figure out what that looks like and where to find it.”
Source: Teens Are Struggling Right Now. What Parents Can Do?
It’s not one 60-minute conversation.
It’s 60 one-minute conversations.
